Travis Jervey Quest Continues ...

I got this email today ...

Hi Stacey... somehow i ran across your article online about the search for your very own Travis Jervey jersey.. i was just wondering, since it has been a few years, did you ever get your own jersey?

Obviously by my screen name (it was a combination of jrvy 32) you can tell i am a fan also!

Thanks, Sara W

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of the obsession, or need a refresher ... here's the article I wrote that she's referring to:

As printed in "Insight," December 2002
Blurring the Edges: Questing for a Travis Jervey

As the holiday season approaches, instead of visions of sugarplums dancing through my head, I have visions of Travis Jervey jerseys.

I have been on a quest for a Travis Jervey jersey since 1998. Travis Jervey, affectionately known as T.J., was a back-up running back and special teams star for the Green Bay Packers. I was first acquainted with T.J. in 1998 preseason, during “The American Bowl” in Japan. Since it was played on the other side of the world, this game started at 11 p.m. The first-string players were done playing by 11:30 and I needed to find a way to stay awake.

T.J. caught my eye, and so the obsession begins. My story of obsession is a long, sad one that only seems to intensify with time. Friends first meeting me know initially about T.J., but do not fully realize the immense depth of my passion. Even I sometimes question this passion. There are plenty of players who are now superstars I probably should have picked that night. I am attracted to the obscure as a way to be unique. I just hope once I get the T.J. jersey I am equally enthusiastic as I am now.

Into the 1998 season, Dorsey Levens broke his ankle and eventually T.J. got the starting role. T.J. getting more playing time and recognition thrilled me. He got his first NFL touchdown Nov. 1, 1998. I still remember the details of the afternoon. Before the ink on the Travis Jervey trading cards could dry, he broke his ankle the next week against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I remember the details of that day all too clearly.

I suppose Santa did not bring me my T.J. jersey that year because he thought football or T.J. might be a passing phase. He did not want the elves to labor away on such an extravagant gift if it was not going to be appreciated.

Too bad Santa was not clairvoyant. T.J. signed with the San Francisco 49ers Mar. 22, 1999, and four years later, I am still obsessed with him and crave the jersey even though T.J. has traveled about the NFL and now rests with the Atlanta Falcons. The quest for a T.J. jersey has such a hold over me that a little part of me has begun to dread the holidays and birthdays. It started with clothes boxes, giving me hope that it might hold the jersey. Maybe this will be it, I think. Everything rational in me is saying it is not my T.J. jersey, but I cannot help but hope. It is always in the back of my mind.

As time passes I see the likelihood of getting my jersey fade. Now I am even hopeful for boxes other than those meant clothes. I rationalize that Mom put it in an odd box to throw me off track. I realized I had a problem when I was seriously considering how she could have folded the jersey to fit in a ring box.

My mom has been sneaky lately, plotting with people she does not usually plot with. My heart leaps, but my mind pulls me back, as to not get my hopes up. Will this be my year? Will my quest for the elusive Travis Jervey jersey be fulfilled?

Thought of the Moment: “Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace.” ~ Robert J. Sawyer

Pictures: The Man. And the Jersey. :-)

KoL Dream

You have an incredibly vivid dream in which you're a butterfly, flitting about in the breeze. When you wake up, you aren't quite sure whether you're an adventurer that dreamt of being a butterfly, or a butterfly that's dreaming of being an adventurer.
You do feel an overwhelming urge to pollinate something, though.

Sideways Under the Tuscan Sun

Taking a page out of Apryll's book--I know I will never have the flair, vocabulary or style of Miss Apryll's brilliant reviews, but here are my thoughts on a couple of movies I have recently seen.

"Under the Tuscan Sun" would have worked better as a novel than a movie. This makes me nervous because it was very loosely adapted from a novel of the same name ... and until I read the book, I am assuming the villa is the only character that is remotely similar.

The first scene was a very poor set up, a student's book release? It had me wondering how that guy fit in the story ... and why he was so attached to her. The way she found out about her husband could be some form of poetic justice, but really was just awkward.

Talk about awkward ... what is with falling on the floor during the first scene at divorce hotel? I mean, come on, who does that? She just dropped, no warning, no effort to lessen the impact. Yeah right.

Still in the early stages of the movie, she is ambling very poetically about town during the tour. She sits and scribes a postcard for a fellow travel-mate. It is very beautiful, and what one hopes to experience engulfed in the romanticism of Italy. But reading the finished product, the postcard's owner scoffs "even tastes like purple" as a bunch of fluffy crap. This moment is a huge scene killer. They so carefully brought us into the feeling of this place, making the atmosphere a complex character but then completely broke the trance. What I would have pointed out to him is he was complaining about writing the postcard, she did you a favor, send the damn thing anyways.

Throughout the film, the character Frances was developing in all the wrong ways, which, I suppose, mirrors life. She was starting new in so many ways: moves to another country, she doesn't speak the native language, buys a rundown house, has no friends in the same time zone. But it always comes back to the same thing ... she is recently divorced. This is the only thing she is fighting for. Man after random man, she is seeking someone to fill a void. I guess the journey of her tale shows there are other more important voids she needs to seek, and after she completes these aspects of her being, life falls into place. I guess I just expect more from her, and this mind set disappoints me.

Another disappointing moment was the time lapse when they kissed on the beach. Geeze.

There were some points of the movie I felt could have gone another way. I would never want Pawel to die, but during the flag throwing ceremony (celebration?) after the flag plummets and comes crashing down directly on his head, he pops up with only a bump. Talk about anticlimactic. If he would have died, it would have given me something to feel instead of rolling my eyes. Of course, then that would have negated the ending (wedding in the yard) and moments of truth (claiming him as her family) along the way. *Sighs* Okay.

How about the matter of the crazy blond woman? I was convinced she was a figment of Frances's imagination until the fountain scene. But there's a twist! This carefree, oblivious woman seemed like everything Frances yearned to be. It would have worked if she was only real in the mind of Frances. She inspired Frances ... big things happened after their encounters. A brilliant move would have been to have the audience think she was real, but then reveal at the fountain that she was Frances's surpressed side. Her moment of clarity could be as Martini pulls her out of the fountain. And we see that it is Frances wet and broken and not the blond. ... but that might lead people to think that she was crazy ...

There were some good, even beautiful, moments in the movie. I enjoyed when the line she gave when the baby was born...giving the baby to the light, but since I can't remember the quote it sounds like the making of a horror story.

When the house was completed and the Polish workers unveiled the wall it was a very artistic moment. It was touching, and the movie clicked. The wedding was a good way to end the movie as well, but not because of young love. Frances was shown that her dreams came true, just not the way she intended. And then, when all the pieces had fallen into their rightful place, exhausted from trying to make life happen, she laid down, and there was the ladybug ... and someone to share her life with.

Oddly enough, I enjoyed the movie more when I watched the commentary--because I didn't have to hear the cheesy lines, but enjoy the essence of the movie, the Italian scenery.

Another wine indulgence -- movie -- that had my taste buds salivating was "Sideways." During our wine tour in Napa and Sonoma Valley, every winery mentioned it. It was marketed as an embodiment of their lives. I was looking forward to the California scenery and wine insight, taking me back to that perfect day, but all I got was a week-long bachelor party with two people attending. I was horribly disappointed. I guess I built it up too much in my head. Compared to this movie, "Under the Tuscan Sun" was brilliant.

The "Sideways" commentary was no better. They were pretencious, using big words and then commenting on their brilliant vocabulary. There was a lapse of insight here and there, but soon marred by ogling women.

My frolicking through the wine world of California ... From Top (Left to Right) Wine Tour: Statue at Viansa (Sonoma Valley), a great way to start the day. Viansa barrels. The other side of ViansaNew sprouts on the Viansa vines. Lamar, the Canadian wine expert at Kirkland Ranch (Napa Valley). View of the Valley from Kirkland's terrace. If you look closeyly you can see the cars lined up to go home. It's a two hour drive in the morning and night to commute. It's too expensive to live there, so they make the daily trek that in low traffic times takes 45 minutes at the most.

Why KoL makes me smile

As you enter Whitey's Grove, you encounter something very disturbing. A group of people is sitting around a table laden with wine. Instead of drinking the wine, however, they repeatedly take sips and then spit them into a bucket. Between sips, they use words that are too pretentious for you to understand, and laugh smugly.
Enraged by this waste of perfectly good alcohol, you spring into action. Which is to say that you hit the people until they leave, and then take the remaining wine.

--------
You dream you're running through the basement of Cobb's Knob. You enter the boiler room and get jumped by some freaky dude in a striped sweater and jaunty f3d0r4. He's wearing a glove with five razor-sharp pasta spoons strapped to it! He slashes at you and you wake up screaming... but it was only a dream. Or ... was it?

So Now What?

I am in the "So now what" stage. At least, that is what I've deemed it.

It is no longer a meantime, if for no other reason, but simply because I cannot identify what I am between.

For years ... since eighth grade if you want to nail down a particular point in time, I have been pursuing this goal. Therefore, I've always sort of had a "built in" goal.

Middle school, high school: my goal was to get good grades, graduate high in the class, get scholarships, go to college.

College (year 1-2): get good grades, make an impact on campus, transfer

College (year 3-4): get good grades, make the transfer student recognized on campus, graduate with high honors

From that point, my goal was to get a job in the field of communications...one that I would make an impact in the community and have opportunity to work my way up the ladder.

Well...so I did it. Graduated from high school, loved the 2-year college, made a splash as a transfer student, fought for my high honors and graduated with a Bachelors degree. Then I got a job as a public relations coordinator (even thought that's not the title, but Colleen told us it wouldn't be the title). I am in an influential company in the community--an organization all around the country if I wanted to stay there and move around within the system (which I don't think I do). I'm attending all of the important meetings and the founding member of a young professionals service club.

So, now what? I don't have any goals! I don't know what to make a goal...besides learning my job. And I know everyone has gone through this, but the problem is, no one has told me how they did.

I'm not the type of person to sit back and wait out the storm. I like taking action. I like learning the patterns and applying them to my situation. I follow in the footsteps of those who have gone before me. I need an instruction manual. That's what I'm looking for. I have found my answers in books, so give me that. And don't tell me it doesn't exist. If everyone has gone through this before me, then someone should have been smart enough to write it down. Why are they making us figure it out for ourselves for the first time all over again? You wouldn't let your child touch fire if they didn't know it was dangerous. You don't let them drink poison just so they will learn that it's deadly for themselves. So why are you making us suffer in this instance?

Tangent. :-p

But anyways, So ... now what?