How could I have ever passed you by?

Back again to the 30 Day Song Challenge.  I swear I'll finish before I turn 31 (I hope).

It's Day 28 - A Song that Makes You Feel Guilty.

This song hit me on the way to work last week.  I was innocently singing along, even though I had only heard it once before, when I started to cry.  I could not believe the heartache and anguish I felt while absorbing the lyrics.  I haven't been able to listen to it since without choking up, but I think it may be my favorite song from the album.

bulletproofAngel, The Goo Goo Dolls, Magnetic, 2013



This song is from the Goo Goo Dolls new CD, just released last week (thank you 2 day delivery Amazon Prime). The first time I listened to this song I really didn't like it.  I'm not quite sure why, but the first impression just didn't do it for me.  But when I actually listened to the lyrics, it completely changed my perspective.

This hits my emotions in so many places.  First, the message I pull is that there are so many people in our world--whether it's your neighborhood, workplace or community--that we don't notice or don't take the time to hear their stories.  There have been plenty of times that I have felt unfairly judged because people don't know me or know my situation.  I certainly know I'm guilty of the same.

The second primary message of this song for me revolves around mental health issues and under-served populations.  Here Johnny spins a woman in poverty (who is probably there because of untreated mental health problems) to an enlightened soul who sees the truth.  It's certainly a romantic view, but it also breaks my heart.  We are so unequipped as a nation to help the masses that struggle.  We don't value the general well-being of the working poor (or even middle class, but that's a blue post for later).  Years ago, when I started in the nonprofit industry, it was generally agreed upon by agencies in my town that most public agencies could not recognize a person afflicted with mental health issues (and no, it's not always as obvious as hearing an invisible choir).  Now, unfortunately due to the economic downturn and rise in gun violence, mental health issues have become a talking point, but little more.

This song makes me feel guilty because I'm happy and healthy and comfortable in my life.  I've worked hard to get where I am, but I know there are so many people around me struggling for so many reasons.

I will never be able to do enough to solve the world's--or even one person's---problems.  And sometimes I simply don't have the emotional energy to listen or try.

Day 29 is A Favorite Song from Your Childhood (no guarantees of when this post will come).

Check out Day 28 or start with Day 1 (A Goo Goo Doll Classic)

A television war between the cynics and the saints

Sometimes, I become disheartened with the world or the people around me.  There are so many things that challenge our morals and beliefs.  There's always those "hot button" issues that have extreme sides.  So few of us, in these issues, can come to the middle and say it's not that I'm right and you're wrong, but maybe we both have valid points.   We grow confident when we are the majority, but some shout even louder when very few stand with them.

Our interconnected always plugged in nature only emphasizes the issues, the arguments and sometimes, the hate.  I have to hold my tongue (or fingers) when it comes to reacting to the opinions of the people around me.

Of course, around election time is nearly unbearable.  At one point, I saw an App that claimed to filter your Facebook friends to Red vs. Blue to determine what posts made it to a news feed.  Let me tell you - I seriously considered signing up for it.  And to be honest, I have unfriended or "unsubscribed" from friends solely because of their opposing political view.  I'm not sorry I did it either.

In my 30 Day Music Challenge, I have been listening to older songs in my collection.  I came across "Affirmation" by Savage Garden, which I have already written about here.

And I'm saddened that so many of the issues set forward in 2000 are still unresolved today.  (But on a lighter note - I'm super glad that bleached hair look went out of style.)

The only thing I can hang on to, to get me through the trying times is positive affirmations ... like this song, inspiring quotes or the positive people around me.  And I hope that one day we can work together create a better place where equality and peace are more important than agendas and greed.

Take a chance and don't ever look back

The original 30 Day Song List Challenge lists Day 27 as a Song You Wish You Could Play, but of course for me, that's any song.  I'm cheating again.  I found a different list so here goes:

Day 27 (Amended): A Song that You Discovered After Everyone Else

So here's my dirty little secret: I don't listen to the radio.  I can't remember when the last time I listened to music on the radio.  When in the car I listen to ESPN Radio.  At work I listen to Pandora or podcasts.  At home I listen to Spotify, my music library or books on tape.  I just get bored with Top 40 radio (and the constant repeating) too quickly.  In other words, I have no idea what the top songs are right now.  The only way I hear these songs is through popular culture: television, commercials, links from friends on social media.

I learn about most of the Top 40 songs way past when they are first aired or even after they've become hits. For the most part I don't think I'm missing out on anything.  I do get into music ruts here and there, but that's not anything that the likes of Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga could fix anyway.

According to Wikipedia,  Katy Perry released "Teenage Dream" August 2010.  I listened to The Rescue's cover ... some time after that.

Teenage Dream, The Rescues, Single - Katy Perry Cover, 2010

I heard this cover before I heard Katy Perry's version   And I love this cover so much more than Katy Perry's.  I have this thing when I listen to music, I like to pick out the harmonies and zone in on the individual instruments.  Our local Ear Nose and Throat specialist told me it's because of my sonic hearing.  This song is great for that, they have beautiful harmonies and unique sound.  I dig the artsy black and white video, and every time I watch it, I notice something new.

I have never listened to The Rescues before this song, but after this single I tuned into their music.  This winter I saw one of the members, AG, live - she's a very awesome solo artist as well.

Tune in for Day 28: A Song that Makes You Feel Guilty

Eternity is so beautifully cold, I wonder if angels ever feel old

I'm going to cheat on Day 26 of the 30 Day Song Challenge.  My original list called for a song that I can play.  However, I am very musically inept   I'm more interested in the flow of the words or the cover art than how to actually play the music.  I even screwed up "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder in grade school.

Originally when I had started this (eh-hem two years ago), I was able to find another list that had a different option for Day 26.

Amended Day 26 - A Great Song You Just Discovered

The song I keep coming back to in my collection that I most recently discovered is:

Until the End, Quietdrive, Self-titled, 2010

I saw this band about a month ago live.  To tell the truth, I really didn't want to go to the concert.  I was having a really busy week and just wanted a night at home.  I had added their music and the music of the other musician who was performing to my playlist to see if they were any good.  I thought they were like background music, I totally tuned out and really couldn't pick out anything I liked. (Turns out I don't think I actually listened to their music, I must have had it set to random).

Then the day before the show I read in a newspaper article that they were a punk group, so I decided to go. This was a nice change of pace.  I found myself sort of melting into the songs, listening to the lyrics, enjoying picking out the individual instruments, especially since they were playing acoustically.  The sound was a mix between The Killers, Panic at the Disco and Fall Out Boy. The lyrics are clever and fast-paced.  I vaguely remember "Until the End" at the concert and it was okay, the lyric "until the end, there and back" reminds me of "The Hobbit" and "Lord of the Rings" (A Hobbit's Tale: There and Back Again).

I bought their Self-titled CD (even though I had just said I wasn't going to), and it has a lot of great songs, but I always have to skip to "Until the End" and listen to it at least twice whenever I listen to their music.


Next ... Day 27: A Song You Discovered After Everyone Else

Hear the voices in my head I swear to God it sounds like they're snoring

I was mulling around a couple of different options for Day 25: A Song that Makes You Laugh.

That's a pretty odd category for songs.  Songs that make me laugh don't really make it into my favorite rotation.  They are the weird songs that come around and are popular for two or three months but then you can't even remember them the next year.  And if you do, you're embarrassed you enjoyed it as much as you did.

This song is a little more significant to me than those fad songs.  Although, I would wager it was a fad song in it's time.  It has a special place in my music library because it was one of the first punk songs that caught my ear.  It has all the key elements of what makes a good song in my head:  distinct beat that sticks with you, clever lyrics, not all one tone - it's fast and slow, loud and quiet (I hate songs that sound the same all the way through), it's a little bit naughty.

Flagpole Sitta, Harvey Danger, Where Have All the Merrymakers Gone?, 1998

1998?  I was a Freshman in high school, this may have been my first punk song, predating Blink 182.

This is another song I'd like to sing at the top of my lungs when all alone in the wee hours of the morning.  I know I have it on a mixed cd somewhere in my collection.

Day 26: A Song You Can Play on an Instrument

Check out Day 25 or start from the beginning with Day 1.

In fact, I am told that a lot

I had a hard week.  A couple of reasons that are unavoidable ... weather, the calendar, etc., etc.  I realized that I miss writing for fun.  I don't write as much anymore because it's what I do (in part) for a living.  My brain is so damn tired when I get home that the last thing I want to do is think (and things I don't want to do at night when I get home is a very long list!)

So, I thought I would pick up on the 30 day song challenge that I failed miserably at ... I stalled at Day 24 because life got in the way.  I got a new job and my grandfather died ... but with nearly two years past, I think it's okay that I pick it back up for a "mindless" writing session.

With out further ado:  30 Day Song Challenge - Day 24: A Song that You Want Played at Your Funeral

The song I'm choosing for Day 24 is a sweet, yet melancholy song.  

I don't know what it means that I had to wrack my brain for most of these songs, but I instantly knew the song I wanted played at my funeral.

The Luckiest,  Ben Folds, Rockin the Suburbs, 2001

I go back and forth with this song ... sometimes it feels like a love song, other times it feels like one last gasp from a deathbed.  I suppose, it can be both at the same time.

The rhythm is slow and contemplative   The piano is lonely and hopeful.  This song is a reflection on the good memories and missed opportunities that make up a life of moments that are meant to be.

This song is a lesson that it's the people around you that make a life special, not possessions  accomplishments or money.  Love, family and friends are the things that span all time and space.

Rockin the Suburbs (also a great song you should check out) was released on September 11, 2001.  Wow, way to not be relevant.  But I would contend it makes "The Luckiest" even more meaningful.

Catch up ... Day 23 is here or if you'd like to start from the beginning, try Day 1.

Transition, Goo Goo Dolls and Belly Rubs

2011 brought many new things into my life.

I've had a handsome boy move in with me.   I'm the one bringing home the bacon, filling the food dish and cleaning the house.  But I love my morning cuddles, hugs when I get home from work and snuggles at bed time.  (I <3 my cat Hercules)

I also closed a chapter in my life, after six years with one job, I moved on to another.  I don't know how some people can move or change jobs every year.  It's stressful and familiarity makes me feel more comfortable and confident.  I love my new job though and look forward to many, many years there.

I've fulfilled a couple of life goals, even though I don't have the "official" list any more. (It's on the HD of my old computer, too lazy to take it to computer people to retrieve data.)  Those goals include seeing the Goo Goo Dolls live in concert (be still my heart) and making/decorating my own gingerbread house.  So fun!

2011 by me:

3 words: transition, music, belly rubs

Favorites:

TV Show: Big Bang Theory

Song: Unravel, Unwind, The Spring Standards

Movie: I may have only seen one movie in the theatres ... Water for Elephants.  the best pairing of the book and screen.

Book:  I read it twice ... The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Football player: Aaron Rodgers ... that is ... b....who?  :-p

Wine: Angelique, Sparkling Wine from Stone's Throw Winery in Door County - almond flavored!

Gift Given:  Scentsy pot for Erika, I love her reaction to the gift!

Web site: Google Reader.  I have 1000 + posts to read and I know I'll never get to them all, but I can never say I'm bored!

~ * ~ * ~

Overrated:  Planting cacti, there's a reason they're picky, they shouldn't be touched.  Ouch.

Disappointed:  Missing fantasy football .... just could prepare without normal preseason coverage and job transition

I need to work on: sticking to a daily routine   -- This was my goal for 2011, I failed miserably!

Overrated Part 2: NFL Lockout, nearly broke my heart

~  * ~ * ~

Grateful for: good friends and supportive coworkers

Travel: Door County, Baraboo and Madison  AND Dubuque, IA to visit my friend Breanna & her hubby and going to my first Goo Goo Doll Concert!!!

I miss:  not second guessing everything

Somewhat obsessed:  twitter, google reader & you tube subscriptions

Here's to 2012 and all the inspiration, opportunity and possibilities it brings!

Feeling like the truth has found you here

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 23: A Song that You Want Played at Your Wedding


Ok .... I got distracted by You Tube Videos ... checking out America's Best Dance Crew Season 6 winners - IaMmE.  They call their style brain bang and it's perfect description b/c it totally screws with your senses as you watch.  (whoohoo Pacman & Moon!)  Aghhh and then check out Urban Jungle and Office Life (also featuring Hok of Quest Crew)!


Wow. Distracted much?


So my initial thoughts for this song was Without You Here by the Goo Goo Dolls.  But, in my pure euphoria in seeing them live for the first time, I posted it on Day 11 as the Song by My Favorite Band.


I don't like most of the sappy, sugary traditional wedding type songs.


So this isn't a traditional wedding song.  It's a little more dark.  But it's more real life--the journey to that day and all the adventures ahead of you is what a wedding celebrates.  And love songs that are all about the high points and fairy tales come true are a lie.  And boring.


My wedding song choice is:

Become - Let Love In - Goo Goo Dolls, 2006

It's an amazing song that I feel is better reflection of what relationships are.  It might not be an easy road, but we're on it together.  So let's fight and dream together, even when we're lost.


And, it totally makes me cry--isn't that a qualification for a wedding song??  ;-)


Day 24: The Funeral Song.  One of the easiest for me to choose.

You cross the line and there's no turning back

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 22: A Song that You Listen to When Sad

I'm not sure how I discovered this song.  I remember listening to it at work in college.

I find a hopeless feeling in this song. My initial association links it with the Columbine shootings, though I know I discovered it later.

Youth of a the Nation, Satellite, P.O.D. - 2001

It's a song of failure.

It marks a loss that no one else notices.

It's a haunting cry that no one heeds.

It's a song I listen to when I'm sad and need to dwell.

It reminds me of this painting, that I think I've often seen

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 21: A Song You Listen to When You're Happy

Day 20 I told you I loved listening to the profanity-laced "Shut Up" from Blink182 in the car when I'm mad.  Oddly enough I love listening to Life is Good from LFO also in the car when I'm happy.  When you come down to it, they make me feel the same realm of emotions.  What?  You understand, right?

Life is Good - Life is Good - LFO, 2001

LFO did the kitschy Summer Girls in 1999.  They even released two CD's, and yes I own them. I actually really like almost all of their songs. Being the young rebel I was, they were my boy band of choices vs. Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.

For the most part, they still have their place in my rotation, though not as frequent.  But on a sunny afternoon with the road stretching ahead of me and the window down, Life is Good is the perfect song to blast and sing along to.

Sadly, the lead singer, Rich Cronin died in 2010 at only 36 after losing his long-time battle with leukemia. Thanks Rich, for your goofy lyrics, New Kids on the Block references and Boston accent.  <3

I think it's time that I should leave

Day 20: A song you listen to when you're angry

I must admit, I love me some angry songs.  It really does the trick to get that release.

Sometimes I just need to crank up the music when I'm all alone in the the car and belt out lyrics littered with F-bombs.

And this song is perfect for that ... because most of the time, I end up smiling.

Shut Up - Take Off Your Pants and Jacket - Blink-182, 2001

In a different time or place the words would make more sense

30 Day Music Project - Day 19: A Song from Your Favorite Album

My favorite album is When Your Heart Stops Beating from +44.  It's the only CD I've listened to for 11 months in my car without changing the CD.

This is huge, typically I can only listen to something twice before I take it out and put something else in.

+44's music is fast with hard beats and lyrics with quick wit.  And when I say fast, this song was named because it has 155 beats a minute.

155, When Your Heart Stops Beating, +44 - 2006

All I see ahead of me are glistening lights

Day 18: The Song I Wished I Would Hear on the Radio

Talk about long titles.  No long title for the song I wish would be on the radio though.  I first heard this song at a local concert.  It was good, but in that moment, it didn't strike me as special (maybe it was the March blizzard outside that dampened the mood?).  But, the thing about good musicians who choose to play smaller venues, they love to share their music ... even for free.  So I signed up for a mailing list and got a half a dozen of Joey Ryan's songs.  This one, is my favorite:

Broken Headlights feat. Sara Bareilles - Kentor Canyon - Joey Ryan, 2010

The more I listened to it, the more I loved it.  This is quite normal for me ... does that happen to anyone else?  Sometimes I need some time to fully appreciate music.  Other songs I know instantly if I love or hate it.

I love songs that have really smart lyrics. I'm talking beyond the simple rhyming every other line.  Ryan crafts a beautiful picture with his intricate styling of words, and then peppers them out in such a way that to anyone else it might seem like a tongue twister.

You have to check out Joey Ryan--he's fantastic (and tall too!)

It's that race that took over, it controls you both

Day 17: A Song You Often Hear on the Radio

I very rarely listen to the radio, but I can hear it from the reception area in the office.  As everyone can relate, the radio has their playlist on repeat, and I ignore most of the songs.  But my ears always perk upwhen I hear this song.

Love the Way You Lie - Recovery - Eminem Ft. Rihanna, 2010

I've always liked Eminem and I loved the collaboration with Rhianna.  This video is good too.  My how our little Merry has grown up. :-)

I'd love you like a fire red, now it's turning blue

30 Day Song Challenge: Day 16 - A Song You Used to Love but Now Hate

I don't hate this song, I'm just sick of it.  I don't want to listen to it any more.

Apologize - Dreaming Out Loud - One Republic, 2006

It was in the rush of Grey's songs and anything that sounded like that style.  I think I over did it.  Now, it's an automatic skip.

It's freezing in the corner of my mind

Day 15: A Song that Describes You

I poured over my song library searching for a song to describe me.  I listened to every station I have on Pandora.  Unfortunately no single song jumped out ... I had a list of eight songs.  I suppose that's a good sign, it means I'm multi-faceted and complex, right??

I decided on this song, because there are quite a few lines that I relate to ... and, well, I feel describe who I am.

Ain't that Unusual - A Boy Named Goo - Goo Goo Dolls, 1995

Specifically ... "there's something I wished I said, but I don't think it'd rhyme" and "freezing in the corner of my mind."  I feel as though I very much live in my head ... sometimes a good thing, but it also holds me back.

I'm going through a phase, one that I've felt before, where I feel as though other people are defining who I am, labeling me based on the surface.  And I'll admit it, my surface isn't all that good most of the time.  It's a challenge for me to be there -- complete and my true self in each moment.

And, oddly enough, the surface of this song seems sort of depressing, but I've never felt that way.  It makes me feel hopeful.

There's something cold and blank behind her smile

Day 14: A Song No One Would Expect You to Love

I'm not sure I should assume what people would expect of me ...

But, the most off genre artists that I choose to listen to would have to be Marilyn Manson.  I've always been slightly fascinated by him--but can only listen to his music in small doses.

I think Manson is brilliant in the way Tom DeLonge wants to be brilliant.  He has captured what it is to be an icon, to create a brand, persona or caricature that is instantly recognizable and revokes a reaction.  He's no different from the Lady Gagas, Katy Perrys, etc, etc. in mainstream culture.

I love watching his videos and really appreciate the art he makes with different uses of symbolism, commentary on society and pushing the envelope .... even if it's just to push the envelope. (Oh, and Grey's fans, Lexie is in his Tainted Love video)

Coma White - Mechanical Animals - Marilyn Manson, 1999

Shortly after I first watched this video, there was a special marking the anniversary of JFK's assisnation. It gives me goosebumps just for that.

Day 15: A Song that Describes You

All eyes on me

30 Day Music Challenge -- Slightly prolonged due to life ... but back again!

Day13: The Song that is Your Guilty Pleasure

I generally embrace the music I listen to, and can defend the merits of any choice.  I walk off the beaten path musically, so in most instances people don't share my musical ear anyways.

However, there are two songs in my library that I'm embarrassed for people to see.

My guilty pleasure:

Circus - Circus - Britney Spears, 2008

I get she's a pop princess celebrated by the likes of Glee.  But she represents the mainstream blah that spawned mediocrity for music.  She's a top performer, I'll give her that.  Though in this video you can tell she was coming off babies, rehab, head shaving and god knows what else.  Lots of face shots and far camera position on the dancing.

This song isn't good; necessarily, but for some reason, I like it.

Day 14: A Song No One Would Expect You to Like

It's made me all who I am inside

Day 12: A Song from A Band You Hate

Other than favorite song, this may have been the easiest to choose.

I hate Angels & Airwaves (AvA) because it's the band Tom DeLonge formed after he disbanded from Blink-182 (bitter much? yeah I know). He had a bit of a mental breakdown (my opinion) and thought he was changing the face of music with his miniseries-movies-trilogy-event.

AvA's music was heavily played on my punk Pandora station. And there was plenty to play, they released three albums between 2006-2009.  Most of the songs  borrow the sound, rhythm and riffs of Blink.  They aren't just similar--I swear "Everything's Magic" is the same song slightly reworked as "Anthem Pt. 2" from Blink's Take off your Pants and Jacket.

So Tom, if you're creating this epic new experience than why are you recycling old tunes?

But that's not my favorite AvA song ...

Rite of Spring - I-Empire - Angels & Airwaves, 2007

I like this song even though it's in Tom's monotone, droning voice.  Every time I listen to it I have to grit my teeth at the few friends still last lyrics.

But, it's honest and emotional ... and the story not only of Tom's life, but of growing up and living with how the choices we make shape our world.

Day 13: My Guilty Pleasure 

I'm going to send you a song from my heart

Day 10: A Song that Makes You Fall Asleep

I've known about this artist for about two years now, which seems almost impossible.  I've seen her twice in concert and hope to see her again this summer.

This song could make me fall asleep because evokes such a serene mood.  It's light and happy and the perfect tempo to just let go, close your eyes and dream.

The Bird Song - Chameleon - Victoria Vox, 2008

You have to check out the video, it's so clever and cute - perfect for the song and Vox's style.

I love love love Victoria Vox and it's even more exciting because she's from Green Bay.

When you need a little time to unwind, just turn to the uke, songs in French, mouth trumpets and creative socially conscious lyrics.


Day 11: A Song From My Favorite Band -- what a perfect day for it too!