Need it like a High

Something has happened that I didn't think was possible.

Something that I never saw coming.

It's a feeling so energizing I am more aware of everything around me. It's all those cliches come true: colors are more vibrant, sounds ring crystal clear and truly resonate all through me. My heart beats a little faster, eyes are open a little wider and my soul is open. Plus, I'm letting out squeals of delight nearly every five minutes.

It's ...

So You Think You Can Dance? !!!!

I've been watching the show since the very beginning and it's never failed to leave me completely thrilled.

I'm not sure why it pulls me in. I have absolutely zero dance ability and no aspirations to be a dancer. But this show gives me the rush only Opening Sunday and Super Bowl Sunday can parallel.

We're two weeks in and there's at least one more episode of auditions. And rather than laughing at the horrible people, I'm more horrified for them and the others I'm willing to do well.

I still remember all my past season favorites: Nick, Travis, Donyelle, Hok, Ivan, Allison Dominic, Neil, Sabra. And I absolutely love when they use some of these past contestants as choreographers and assistants.

I've wrote before that SYTYCD is a great pulse on hot music. I heard Apologize from One Republic here first--months before it was released on the radio.

On Thursday I had two music moments. There was this really toned guy doing push ups like a maniac. He started his pre-interview piece somewhat normally: dance is his passion, it's where he feels the most at peace, etc. Then he said, "When I dance, it's divinity."

Okay.

He walks on stage, waiting for his music to begin.

The first chords sound.

And my heart jumps and then drops into my stomach.

Goo Goo Dolls, Acoustic #3

He's just standing there.

I turn up the volume.

He's still standing there.

"Well do something!" I yell at the television.

He begins.

I hold my breath. Make divinity and don't wreck my song.

*Squeal* Johnny's beautiful voice fills the auditorium.

Nigel cuts the music.

*SIGHS*

Now, I don't remember if Jeremiah made it straight through to Vegas or if he had to learn Travis Wall's *Squeal* choreography. But I do know he eventually made it to Vegas because I remember thinking that I hope he was selected to the Top 20 so he could dance his solos to more Goo Goo Dolls songs.

(and not be so incredibly odd, but I suppose that was just me calling the kettle black)

My other piece of music news isn't so dramatic. I think they played a AvA song (Angels v Airwaves, Tom DeLonge's new band post-Blink182), which makes me hope they play the better two-thirds of that former trio: +44.

And now, I have 1 1/2 pages left in this notebook. Whoohoo.

Sooner or later it's over

Yesterday I learned that irises smell soapy. It's a very interesting smell. I also learned I hate weeding that iris bed.

If you just realize what I just realized

Another Sunday is here, and unfortunately, almost over. It'll be nice to get some extra time with the coming holiday weekend. Can you believe it's the end of May already? It's the end of May and quite cold might I add. I wish the lovely city of San Francisco would lend us some warmth. They've got record highs and here it's a high probability of frost overnight.

I've been doing my part to help the economy this week (that's code for spending more money then I typically care to spend on a weekly basis). I got my eyes checked and ordered a year's supply of contacts and I bought six pairs of shoes. Now, before you make any judgements, with rebates and a free pair of sunglasses I saved $120 on my contacts and with coupons, sales and free shipping I saved $56 on the shoes.

It's still enough to make my heart palpatate a little .... but with deals like that ... Yeah.

So, what is there for you and I to chat about? Dexter is done, there's still no football for a couple of months, So You Think You Can Dance? doesn't start until next week.

Okay, not too much to talk about. I'm starting to plan to get my masters. I'm narrowing down the different subjects, first goal is to choose, then which school ...

Ahhh life. No manual. All heart.

Happy Sunday to all and to all a good afternoon.

Card carrying (if there was a card to carry) member of Dan Nation

I started my way home yesterday. Hooray for the weekend is finally here.

My radio was tuned to sports talk radio---and my favorite broadcaster Dan Patrick.

I literally heard one minute of the show (the close) and Dan and his gang of rag-tag producers had me laughing so hard I was in tears.

Man am I glad DP is back on the radio.

I am older than the Quarterbacks for the Packers (all of them!)

Morning came too early today. In fact I might just crawl back into bed sometime today for a nap. Either that or the coffee needs to kick in--or get pumped into me with an IV drip.

The Sunday Morning Show is previewing the summer movies. I'm looking forward to Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, The Dark Knight and quite a few others. This looks like a good summer for movies. Now I would have watched The Dark Knight regardless, but I have a high level of anticipation since it was Heath Ledger's last complete movie.

He goes so twisted and dark ... I think I might have a hard time rooting against him. I have always had that odd dark fascination for the ... well, the dark and insanely odd (hence my interest in Marilyn Manson -- I certainly would be interested in the psychology that is behind that).

Okay, back from a shower. I am now slightly more awake, if not slightly less tired. And still slightly slippy from lotion.

Onward and forth! (or some such things)

So there was a birthday. And there is some internal struggle. And a lot of external resentment because there's no life manual.

There's also a banana nut muffin, but that has nothing to do with any of it. It's just breakfast.

Wasn't it Elaine and Kramer on Seinfeld who created a muffin tops business?

Sure, it seems like a great concept (and then they had the problem of what do you do with the bottoms) but I like the whole muffin. I do enjoy pulling the top off and eating it separately. But there's different good things about both. The top is caramelized and slightly more crispy. The bottom, oh the bottom is cakey and pure delicious muffin essence all the way through.

So I guess what I'm trying to say here to you is that muffin tops only is a flawed concept.

I think they should have removed the tops, but sold the bottoms also (you'd get a deal if you bought both a top and bottom). They coulda called it: Top of the Muffin to You (and Bottoms too!)

Around a month ago I received a newsletter from some public interest group I found. It's called Free-range Thinking, it raises a point of view and generates discussion from authors and gives "food for thought" opportunities.

As an aside: It has a brown cow in the masthead. I think that cow knows that I drink soy milk and i think in her own silent way (silent because she is only a picture and I'm not that crazy that pictures of cows talk to me) she's thanking me for it.

Anyway, this month's topic is Why Do You Do What You Do? I'm not going to recap the history, etc. (because that's boring and unoriginal and a pet peeve) so if you want that insight google it (again, GoodSearch for our philanthropic friends).

Moral of the story is that many of us don't actually reflect on why we do what we do. And when that contemplation comes ... it's a stirring moment, or series of moments, and creates a genuine reflection.

Now, my answer, at least until I come up with something better, is: to contribute to something greater than myself.

That's ultimately why I write. Yeah, I'm an incredibly vain person who wants to send her words out into the world for others to read, but I'm doing it give something better or more meaningful then just me.

Numbers don't fulfill that need in me, neither does working in medicine. But it's why I have friendships, connect with family, find meaning in music and movies, try to live greener and even sit in the backyard listening to the wind, water and birds.

That's all for today.

This blog wins the award for most random subjects and tangent filled.