A couple different lines of thought for this one. Stick with my randomness and love me for it anyway.
Today was the Leadership Retreat -- leadership class that's pretty prestigous in the town and taken uber seriously. Note: I'm the youngest one there. 55 percent have children my age, 40 percent have children older than me and 5 percent are at or below five years older than me.
So breakfast through lunch I feel totally out of place when they laugh about their silly 22-year-olds doing silly young adult things while they have the worries and stress of buying homes and remodeling their home or being married or bailing out their silly 22-year-old. (For those who like math, here's one for you ... I was born in 1983)
Right after lunch we did the Meyers-Briggs. The people were rivited, excited and confused all in one bubbly ball. * YAWN * All of this stuff they were doing and laboring to understand was like Phil Clampitt 101. Been there, done that.
Then we went into problem solving--okay, I can go with this, *channels Phil* and I took charge of group of six composed of Mr. I've been married since 1983, Ms. I'm remodeling my house and three others who weren't the overwhelming sterotypes they yapped about for the early part of the day.
Our task was to take charge of relief effort in New Orleans. They start talking...oh the water, oh the sewage and death .... no vision. Bang! I put it in priorities, group the essentials, ask the so what and if it's feasible and ethical and most of Phil's other seven questions.
Time comes to present. I'm and INFJ--Read: Introvert. And what do I do? Go down our Plan of Action and explain implications to the group.
Results: Boring day, didn't have to work, but promising program--this should be the only part that I already had drilled in my head.
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Some people drive me crazy with how self-absorbed they are. Now, I admit--I can be pretty clueless, selfish, absorbed and annoying. BUT I TRY NOT TO BE! I'm human--I let others do that here and there and when I catch myself doing the self-absorbed stuff I stop and try to refocus myself.
But others ... simply have no clue. It's all about them, always will be about them and how DARE you try to compare yourself to them because it's not the same and their situation trumps yours. Now, I preversly enjoy knocking the "I'm so great, i'm so great" people down a notch. It's the opposite that is harder to deal with--there's nothing you can say to them!
They don't believe you when you try to positively encourage them and you only fuel their fire when you agree with them.
My cousin Tim emailed me the other day. He got me thinking this. Tim is around 32ish and has been in the Army since he was 18. He has been stationed in Germany, Italy, was in the first gulf war, stationed in Atlanta (during the TJ days) now lives in Arizona, worked throughout the Middle East this Gulf war and slept in Sadam's palaces.
So with all of this, I never really knew Tim. But we bonded during the December '99 Tennessee Oiler game--Reggie White's last game as a Green Bay Packer. I HATE watching football with people. I don't do it. But I could watch it with Tim, we had fun. I think Tim said he never got to watch Packer football b/c of wherever he was stationed. So I started writing updates and summaries of the game for him. And he always appreciated it.
Anyways, I'm not U-RA-RA Army in any sense. I respect those who chose to do it as a career--but I am always suspicious of a military type before I get to know them (if nothing else b/c the most outspoken ones think they're better than the average citizen). Sorry, it's a flaw.
But Tim humbles me. I have so much respect for him, and I'm proud he's my cousin. He emails me to chat about the Packers, asks about me, and always gives a report about what he's doing. And he's usually doing something that will be in the history books and reports it to me with such honesty, graveness and insight. He puts life into perspective.
The Packers are 0-2. So what? People in New Orleans don't have a home and don't know where there future will lead them. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place right now. Well you know what? I have a home, a family and a job. Not everyone can say that.
I am grateful for what I have and all the blessings in my life.
But some people just don't get it.
I had a conversation with some one recently. They were going on and on about the pity that is them. I didn't feel like playing along after I read Tim's email.
Mike said he was sick of his routine--no one would notice if he disappeared.
I said I was cold.
Mike said he was emotionally cold and the world hated him.
I said my toes hurt.
Mike said that he was ugly and would never find a girl and was worthless.
I said I missed watching The Simpsons twice a day.
My life is hopeless, no friends, no woman, there's no point, no god--I wish I would just die.
I said I was hungry. ~ I went and got a snack ~
Mike said fine, he would rid everyone else of their suffering and just kill himself, he's just a void in this world and couldn't stand his ungrateful, uncaring, petty friends anyway.
And with that, he left.
I got back and shrugged. I couldn't say anything to Mike that I hadn't said before. I gave him every sign that I wasn't interested in the poor me act and he didn't get the hint to start a different conversation. Mike has never asked me how my day was or if I like my job. Mike never knows from the tone of my voice, look on my face or manner of my IMs when I'm upset. I could set myself on fire before him and I don't know if he would notice. If he did it would be to tell me I was lucky because I would die soon. I can count the number of "normal" conversations I've had with him on ONE HAND.
God. Get over yourself. We all get down we all lose touch with ourselves.
But it can be so much worse! I'm glad Tim helped me remember how lucky I am.
I'm also glad I have friends who can tell I'm in trouble or upset by the way I IM them. And even though we've been in the same zip code four times they'll have me call them and talk for hours about nothing just so I'm talking to someone and not crying.
We all have our faults. Recognize them and try to overcome them. Love the people who accept you even with them.
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