Back during St Patrick's Day week, aka: Week of Drunk Lovin' II (yeah, that's a week in the KoL Community) the clan of Nobleese Obligiation (or some sort name) had a drunken stuper writing contest. I submitted this one, and sadly, it didn't place. I'm still proud of it though, so I decided to share it from you.
Cold, Wet & Sticky ~ Brilliant!
You’re that special kind of drunk where you are a better driver since your senses are heightened because you know you’re drunk. To celebrate your intoxicitity (which is a word on St. Sneaky Pete’s Day) you hit Seaside Town.
You stumble into the lair of the pretentious painter. He refuses to paint your portrait because you’re clothes aren’t good enough for him.
You’re just about to give him a piece of your mind when he asks why your tongue is green.
Forgetting that you’ve downed more than few green beers, you run away terrified and bump into a suspicious looking guy. He’s outraged at the drunken debauchery around him on this his holy day. Hey—Suspicious Looking Guy is Irish!
You stop to argue that everyone is Irish on St. Sneaky Pete’s day, and he takes a break from his rant to break you in half.
He dumps a thick black beer down your back and leaves you in a puddle with nothing but beads around your neck and your flashing button pinned to your socks.
You lose 17 chutzpah.
You gain Stale Beer Smell (10 turns)
KoL adventure text has pop culture references. Mine include: Family Guy episode where Peter and his friends are drunk and are deciding who should be the driver. Reference to the Pretencious Painter, when you visit him w/o an outfit he turns you away b/c you have bland clothing. Guinness. Flashing button was the item drop for Sneaky Pete's day.
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