Thank you, Jonathan Larson

My first exposure to RENT was in 8th or 9th grade when the high school chamber choir sang "Seasons of Love" (SoL) It was one of those songs we all fell in love with, sang randomly and would gather in the back of the theatre to listen to.

I only wish our choir teacher would have given us the story. I can understand not telling us the musical's content, but they could have told us about Jonathan Larson, it's writer/composer.

I think my choir sang SoL and "Without You" during my junior year.

the next time I saw something about RENT, Neil Patrick Harris was a guest on the Rosie O'Donnell show. I had a crush on him since his Doogie Houser days and I hadn't seen him since he stopped playing that young MD.

He had black fingernails, and I don't remember the famous black and white scarf, but I can can picture him in it now. I loved the song he sang (though I can't remember which one it is). Then the ensemble sang SoL. They talked a little about the play and I remember wanting to see it, because of the songs I knew. But I was also not quite sure about the content--they had Doogie Houser wearing black fingernail polish after all.

I got any songs from RENT I could find that afternoon. It must have been a slow day, because all I could find was SoL, "Without You" and "Santa Fe." And out of context, "Santa Fe" was so odd I didn't think I'd like the full musical.

Skip ahead about four or five ears. Rent, the movie, is released. I saw the cast on The View, and it was a lucky experience because I'm never home to watch it and really haven't watched when I am home for years for various host reasons.

The cast sang SoL and it all came flooding back to me. Then they talked to the cast about the story, the phenomenon and Jonathan Larson. It was Larson's angle that made me want to know more. So during the summer I checked it out from the library.

I watched it alone at first, I wasn't sure if mom would like it. Before that first viewing, I was excited, eager and nervous all rolled into one. I had known about this for so long and finally had the chance to truly experience it. I didn't know if I would like it or if it had been built up too much and it would be a natural disappointment.

But it didn't let me down one bit. I watched it again right after I finished--something I've only done for a handful of movies. The next day I told mom she absolutely had to watch it. She did, and loved it too--but she didn't cry like I did.

I start crying at "Without You" and would continue to sob through to the credits. While I wasn't expecting that kind of reaction and waterworks, but I thought she'd do something. Finally I got her to watch the documentary, and then I got tears from her at "I'll Cover You, the reprise."

I went online and bought the soundtrack before I even had to take the movie back to the library.

As i write this, I realize I'm talking about my experience with Rent and not the greatness of Jonathan Larson, like I had intended. But I guess that's fitting, because I couldn't write anything that hadn't already been said. Brilliant, innovative, ground breaking, stubborn--the embodiment of an artist. And taken from us too soon. Yet another quality.

But is the lore created from the tragedy? If he had lived, what would have that done to the legend, hype, popularity and experience that RENT spawned in those early days ... and all the fans captivated in the years following?

Then on the other hand, it's such a shame he didn't get see everyone he touched, or the success and validation of his work. Just think of everything of he could have done ...

And I think that hurts just as much.