I may have crossed a line ...

So ... Target had pet apparel in their dollar section.

 

And I couldn't resist.  This one is too small, but still cute.

I may have went a little overboard ...    Herc needs to work on his modeling skills.

But to my defense, I got one for my mom's cat too.  Here Herc is getting into it.

And of course, we have to remember those cold winter nights.

Now he's hamming it up!

Sonic hearing

I've never really admitted this to anyone before.  But I hate going to the doctor ... and I try to avoid it at all costs.  There are some superficial reasons like I'm overweight and embarrassed to step on the scale.  Also,  for a long time, like many Americans, I either didn't have health insurance or it wouldn't be fiscally feasible or budget-friendly to go.

But the issue goes deeper.  Four years ago I was miserably sick and the doctor told me it was all in my head ... basically telling me that I was making it up.  It took four months, four different medications that either did nothing at all or made me feel worse before I was diagnosed.

My father has a long running history of hospital visits.  I've written about his kidney transplant before, but we've also had multiple hip replacements, knee replacements and extended stays with battling infections.

I do what I can to stay away from the examining rooms in our local facilities.

This summer I really felt I had no other option.  I've had a sinus headache pretty much since June.  That in itself, other than inconvenient and annoying, is something I'm relatively used to.  Summer time = allergies.  One morning I woke up to nausea and vertigo and had what may be my first sick day of working life.  I tried to tough it out ... after all I didn't have a fever or any other issues.  After the symptoms subsided a bit I noticed a pressure in my ear. The symptoms came and went: nausea, vertigo, hot and cold flashes and fogginess. I self diagnosed maybe a sinus infection or ear infection and figured with a little rest it would go away by itself.

It didn't and I gave in.  I was terrified that they would tell me there was nothing wrong with me.

I didn't have any infections and my diagnosis was pretty lame, but at least it gave credence to what I was feeling and didn't brush me off.  I guess that's the difference between a good doctor and someone who shouldn't be in a field where they need to interact with people.

All the allergies and sinus pressure were putting pressure on my inner ear.  They tested my ears/hearing and found I have highly sensitive hearing -- the doctor literally told me I have sonic hearing, one level below what dogs can hear and better than 90 percent of other people.

(As an aside .... I may have found my superhuman powers from my tick bite: Sonic Hearing!)

My treatment: be more religious about taking my allergy pills before I feel sick and use my neti pot more often.  But I'm back on their radar again and I may have to overcome my fears and insecurities and start going to the doctor regularly.

Unravel and Unwind

I had a long and somewhat stressful day.  But there were two things that kept me going ...

My sparkly necklace and pretty nails (that match my outfit perfectly!)

(Ignore my short, ugly fingers)

And then I got home and saw ...

Wahoo!

Yay, pretty wedges!

And of course, as always, there's a little furry friend who makes me smile and melts my stress!

Hercules

Sparkly, pretty, furry and cuddly... that's what matters in life, right?

No Kitty, that's my water bottle!

No, Hercules, I don't care that it's Valentine's Day.  You CAN'T put your paw in my water bottle!

You'll hold the ranch and you'll like it!

I had an interesting experience at that one sandwich shop today.

First it was probably a 20 minute wait, with people looped around in line.  It was a pleasant wait, a couple of cute young guys (gee whiz, they do exist) and one friendly one to chat with.

Fast forward to the veggie and sauce part of the line and I say no sauce/dressing,  Sure, I ordered a bacon, chicken ranch  ... but I didn't want the ranch,

Guy behind the counter was shocked.  Really, dude?  If that's the strangest request you received, you need to go answer phone calls for a human service nonprofit agency for a month.

Then we'll compare our "strange" notes.

Foodie Fumbles - Crock Pot Lasagna

I love food.  Discovering new flavors, making new recipes and enjoying new treats with friends.  I also love reading food blogs and magazines and watching food shows.  Folks, I think I'm a foodie.

I'm your average foodie -- when I try new things, sometimes the recipes are mind-blowing fantastic that they are saved, printed and filed for future use. Sometimes .... I fumble.  Good recipes go bad .... or there are indeed, just bad recipes.

Last week I made crock pot lasagna.  It was a spur of the moment thing, I had intended to make a beef roast, and thought I had taken out a leftover half roast, and it turned out to be a leftover pound of hamburger.

Foodie Fumble #1: Label your leftovers well -- especially those vacationing in the freezer.

I didn't follow the recipe carefully use a recipe.  I looked up the basic ingredients and flew with it.  Pasta, stewed tomatoes, onions, browned hamburger, garlic, oregano, basil, tomato paste ...   And boom! Four hours later, bland tomato-hamburger mush.  I'm not quite sure what went wrong -- it tasted great before I put the cover on to slow cook.

So I had to either freeze, throw away or find a use for my bland hamburger mush.  

My first attempts to doctor that night were not successful.  It tasted better the next day, but the lack of texture was still a problem.  So I converted a lazy meal stand by to fit my dilemma.  I topped a baked potato with my mush, a little steak sauce and broccoli (usually made with pulled pork or bbq.  Yummy!

My second meal was mush with bbq sauce over rice with veggies.

Tonight I finish my mush by transforming it into Shepard's Pie with gravy, veggies and seasoned mashed potatoes.

So until next time my foodie friends - keep cooking and don't let a bland meal go to waste.

Transition, Goo Goo Dolls and Belly Rubs

2011 brought many new things into my life.

I've had a handsome boy move in with me.   I'm the one bringing home the bacon, filling the food dish and cleaning the house.  But I love my morning cuddles, hugs when I get home from work and snuggles at bed time.  (I <3 my cat Hercules)

I also closed a chapter in my life, after six years with one job, I moved on to another.  I don't know how some people can move or change jobs every year.  It's stressful and familiarity makes me feel more comfortable and confident.  I love my new job though and look forward to many, many years there.

I've fulfilled a couple of life goals, even though I don't have the "official" list any more. (It's on the HD of my old computer, too lazy to take it to computer people to retrieve data.)  Those goals include seeing the Goo Goo Dolls live in concert (be still my heart) and making/decorating my own gingerbread house.  So fun!

2011 by me:

3 words: transition, music, belly rubs

Favorites:

TV Show: Big Bang Theory

Song: Unravel, Unwind, The Spring Standards

Movie: I may have only seen one movie in the theatres ... Water for Elephants.  the best pairing of the book and screen.

Book:  I read it twice ... The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Football player: Aaron Rodgers ... that is ... b....who?  :-p

Wine: Angelique, Sparkling Wine from Stone's Throw Winery in Door County - almond flavored!

Gift Given:  Scentsy pot for Erika, I love her reaction to the gift!

Web site: Google Reader.  I have 1000 + posts to read and I know I'll never get to them all, but I can never say I'm bored!

~ * ~ * ~

Overrated:  Planting cacti, there's a reason they're picky, they shouldn't be touched.  Ouch.

Disappointed:  Missing fantasy football .... just could prepare without normal preseason coverage and job transition

I need to work on: sticking to a daily routine   -- This was my goal for 2011, I failed miserably!

Overrated Part 2: NFL Lockout, nearly broke my heart

~  * ~ * ~

Grateful for: good friends and supportive coworkers

Travel: Door County, Baraboo and Madison  AND Dubuque, IA to visit my friend Breanna & her hubby and going to my first Goo Goo Doll Concert!!!

I miss:  not second guessing everything

Somewhat obsessed:  twitter, google reader & you tube subscriptions

Here's to 2012 and all the inspiration, opportunity and possibilities it brings!

Today, was a good day

My emotions have heightened since moving to a new job.  With a four months in, I'm having lots of ups and downs.

I have really fantastic invigorating, mind-blowing days that I learn and create and walk away with such inspiration.  I feel so fulfilled and at home.  This, this is what I've been looking for!

But there are days when I feel so beaten down, frustrated and doubtful about my own abilities.  I want to hide in my office so they don't come banging down my door because the powers that be realized they made a mistake.  Pulled down and behind on deadline, fending off and cleaning up mistake after mistake.

What the fuck was I thinking?!  Sure, I wasn't being paid or couldn't go to the doctor, but at least I knew what the hell I was doing, and considered (somewhat) good at it!

Regardless of the day, I go home to Hercules who greets me with a tilt of the head which means he will be catapulting himself across the floor for a belly rub.

And I'm thankful for my dear friends who remind me I felt similar (and more stressed out) when I started my first job six years ago.  It will get better. It will be more familiar.  And soon, there will be more good days than bad.

Today, was a good day.

This is Halloween

I love Halloween, it used to be my favorite holiday and I'm starting to feel that rekindled spirit.

I think Halloween gives you the most room to be creative.  I enjoy decorating, planning the perfect design for a carved pumpkin, dreaming up and creating fantastic costumes and bringing them to life.  Horror movies give me a thrill and I'm always hunting for the next one that will leave me looking over my shoulder and dashing to get out dark places for fear of things that go bump in the night.

At sixth grade my mom put an end to my trick or treating, and then everything lost it's wonder.  In that age range society tells you to choose more mature ways to celebrate holidays.  I chose to celebrate football Sundays instead.  Oh well.

Recently, I've been going to an annual costume party and it's bringing back all those creative juices.  I carved a starry night pumpkin and created a Mad Hatter costume.  I don't really decorate much ... time, money and a energetic little kitty who would have it all tore down before it was complete holds me back.

Happy all Hallows Eve to all the ghosts and goblins young and old!

Never forget, Forever grateful

I shed a lot of tears today.

Mr. Monk and the Killer Cat

Tuesday morning I heard an odd noise.  Tap, tap, tap, slide.  Again and again from the basement.

At first I didn't know where it was coming from.  I thought it might have been something off in my dehumidifer.  Or perhaps it was some plant, bush or tree smacking against the house.  I investigated every possibility I could think of.

I opened the door from the kitchen that goes back to the basement and Hercules (my cat) snuck down.  He ran straight to the dryer and then we heard the sound.  Now, I doubt this is what happened, but I'm going to choose to remember it this way.  Herc and both looked at each other, perplexed.

It was getting time for work, so there wasn't much to do but hope it would resolve itself.

I returned home and heard the same sound, again Hercules zipped pass and ran to the dryer.  I had deduced that there was a chipmonk in the tube that connects from the dryer and vents outside.

Now, I suppose I had a couple of options.

1. I could leave it in and have a dead chipmonk in the dryer vent.
2. I could let it out and have a live chipmonk running around my basement.

I guess I figured live was less smelly of two evils.  So I tapped the vent and slipped it off.  I took a quick look in, didn't see anything and went outside to bring in groceries, leaving Herc in the basement.

After around 15 minutes Herc came upstairs and I shut the door leading to the basement.  The night passed and we were getting ready for bed when thought of my furry house guest creeped into my head.  I considered going downstairs, hoping maybe Herc got lucky and killed it so I wouldn't have to set a trap.  In the dark? And risk running across a live Monk?  Ah no.

So I changed into my pj's and realized how cold it was.  I went into the office, shut the window and as I walking back .... a dead chipmonk in the middle of the floor.  Thank god I didn't step on it!

So I have a little Monk Killer who left me a present ... at least it wasn't in the bed!

Feeling like the truth has found you here

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 23: A Song that You Want Played at Your Wedding


Ok .... I got distracted by You Tube Videos ... checking out America's Best Dance Crew Season 6 winners - IaMmE.  They call their style brain bang and it's perfect description b/c it totally screws with your senses as you watch.  (whoohoo Pacman & Moon!)  Aghhh and then check out Urban Jungle and Office Life (also featuring Hok of Quest Crew)!


Wow. Distracted much?


So my initial thoughts for this song was Without You Here by the Goo Goo Dolls.  But, in my pure euphoria in seeing them live for the first time, I posted it on Day 11 as the Song by My Favorite Band.


I don't like most of the sappy, sugary traditional wedding type songs.


So this isn't a traditional wedding song.  It's a little more dark.  But it's more real life--the journey to that day and all the adventures ahead of you is what a wedding celebrates.  And love songs that are all about the high points and fairy tales come true are a lie.  And boring.


My wedding song choice is:

Become - Let Love In - Goo Goo Dolls, 2006

It's an amazing song that I feel is better reflection of what relationships are.  It might not be an easy road, but we're on it together.  So let's fight and dream together, even when we're lost.


And, it totally makes me cry--isn't that a qualification for a wedding song??  ;-)


Day 24: The Funeral Song.  One of the easiest for me to choose.

You cross the line and there's no turning back

30 Day Song Challenge - Day 22: A Song that You Listen to When Sad

I'm not sure how I discovered this song.  I remember listening to it at work in college.

I find a hopeless feeling in this song. My initial association links it with the Columbine shootings, though I know I discovered it later.

Youth of a the Nation, Satellite, P.O.D. - 2001

It's a song of failure.

It marks a loss that no one else notices.

It's a haunting cry that no one heeds.

It's a song I listen to when I'm sad and need to dwell.

It reminds me of this painting, that I think I've often seen

30 Day Song Challenge

Day 21: A Song You Listen to When You're Happy

Day 20 I told you I loved listening to the profanity-laced "Shut Up" from Blink182 in the car when I'm mad.  Oddly enough I love listening to Life is Good from LFO also in the car when I'm happy.  When you come down to it, they make me feel the same realm of emotions.  What?  You understand, right?

Life is Good - Life is Good - LFO, 2001

LFO did the kitschy Summer Girls in 1999.  They even released two CD's, and yes I own them. I actually really like almost all of their songs. Being the young rebel I was, they were my boy band of choices vs. Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.

For the most part, they still have their place in my rotation, though not as frequent.  But on a sunny afternoon with the road stretching ahead of me and the window down, Life is Good is the perfect song to blast and sing along to.

Sadly, the lead singer, Rich Cronin died in 2010 at only 36 after losing his long-time battle with leukemia. Thanks Rich, for your goofy lyrics, New Kids on the Block references and Boston accent.  <3

I think it's time that I should leave

Day 20: A song you listen to when you're angry

I must admit, I love me some angry songs.  It really does the trick to get that release.

Sometimes I just need to crank up the music when I'm all alone in the the car and belt out lyrics littered with F-bombs.

And this song is perfect for that ... because most of the time, I end up smiling.

Shut Up - Take Off Your Pants and Jacket - Blink-182, 2001

In a different time or place the words would make more sense

30 Day Music Project - Day 19: A Song from Your Favorite Album

My favorite album is When Your Heart Stops Beating from +44.  It's the only CD I've listened to for 11 months in my car without changing the CD.

This is huge, typically I can only listen to something twice before I take it out and put something else in.

+44's music is fast with hard beats and lyrics with quick wit.  And when I say fast, this song was named because it has 155 beats a minute.

155, When Your Heart Stops Beating, +44 - 2006

All I see ahead of me are glistening lights

Day 18: The Song I Wished I Would Hear on the Radio

Talk about long titles.  No long title for the song I wish would be on the radio though.  I first heard this song at a local concert.  It was good, but in that moment, it didn't strike me as special (maybe it was the March blizzard outside that dampened the mood?).  But, the thing about good musicians who choose to play smaller venues, they love to share their music ... even for free.  So I signed up for a mailing list and got a half a dozen of Joey Ryan's songs.  This one, is my favorite:

Broken Headlights feat. Sara Bareilles - Kentor Canyon - Joey Ryan, 2010

The more I listened to it, the more I loved it.  This is quite normal for me ... does that happen to anyone else?  Sometimes I need some time to fully appreciate music.  Other songs I know instantly if I love or hate it.

I love songs that have really smart lyrics. I'm talking beyond the simple rhyming every other line.  Ryan crafts a beautiful picture with his intricate styling of words, and then peppers them out in such a way that to anyone else it might seem like a tongue twister.

You have to check out Joey Ryan--he's fantastic (and tall too!)

It's that race that took over, it controls you both

Day 17: A Song You Often Hear on the Radio

I very rarely listen to the radio, but I can hear it from the reception area in the office.  As everyone can relate, the radio has their playlist on repeat, and I ignore most of the songs.  But my ears always perk upwhen I hear this song.

Love the Way You Lie - Recovery - Eminem Ft. Rihanna, 2010

I've always liked Eminem and I loved the collaboration with Rhianna.  This video is good too.  My how our little Merry has grown up. :-)

I'd love you like a fire red, now it's turning blue

30 Day Song Challenge: Day 16 - A Song You Used to Love but Now Hate

I don't hate this song, I'm just sick of it.  I don't want to listen to it any more.

Apologize - Dreaming Out Loud - One Republic, 2006

It was in the rush of Grey's songs and anything that sounded like that style.  I think I over did it.  Now, it's an automatic skip.

If I could go back

I once wrote a paper in high school that was supposed to reflect a vision for my future.  I wanted to live without regrets, and I was told that would be impossible.

Until now, I've done a good job of not missing the big things ...

Something I can't explain in the core of me says I missed out.

Let this be my proclamation to the universe... I wish I would have said yes.  Please don't let it be my only chance.