What's up with that?

I feel generally grumpy right now. I came into work today and the mood vaguely shifted. A series of small things that are ambiguous...but make me question status nonetheless.

Then I had a feeling of people being pompous. The college-educated (or in the process of) trying to flex the knowledge they just acquired. Where's the knowledge in collecting pieces of work and copy/pasting? Where's the art in that? Nothing else...maybe copying passages and then commenting on the impact it had on you...but to display a whole poem and nothing else? I've felt this pompous attitude more lately. Maybe because communication students I am usually around have a different kind of work that tasks our minds and tests our stress levels--different from other majors. We probably have a little bit of pompousness with our Meyers-Briggs and audience analysis. (INFJ--but when the situation calls for it I can be an E).

I dunno.

The weekend was pleasant. Saturday I didn't feel good, but Friday and Sunday I got quite a bit of work done. The Academy Awards was disappointing...Probably because I really didn't have a vested interest like last year's 11-award lotr sweep. But I missed the opening monologue because we were watching "Chicago."

I didn't enjoy it the first time Jenny and I watched it...I don't know what I was expecting...but I wasn't quite expecting all the glitz and glamour to be all daydreaming. Now, after stripping to the music, and knowing the words to many of the songs...it's much more enjoyable...the colors and details (especially the marionette number)...would be exciting to see in the theatre.

Spring Break is sneaking up on us...and i'm looking forward to it. But it also means the time is blazing by. Oof!

Two hour Fear Factor tonight....whoohoo dose of Joe Rogan! I should watch some Family Guy tonight since I didn't get my weekly dose last night. Mmmm Simpsons tonight too.

The night should cheer me up.

But then it's back to worrying if my car will start tomorrow morning. Since I gave it the llama it's been good, but who knows if that will last :-/

Productive

I didn't feel well today, so I didn't get as much as I wanted to done. AND! And I got bleach on the sleeve of my zippy comfy swim cover up sweatshirt thing. I'm gonna have to get navy blue dye to fix it. I love those shirts...can wear anything with them.

How about Mr. Moss making his way to the Raiders? Should be interesting to see if there is really a team beyond Randy or if they'll pull their usual stunts.

Well, bed early. So I can be productive tomorrow.

Goat Ranchers?

Ladies and Gentlemen...Llamas, Duckies and Baby Goats everywhere.... We have plane tickets to SAN FRANCISCO! Yay for Spring Break! (St Patrick's Day Parade, Paddy's Day in the city, Napa and Sonoma Valley, wine, sunshine, sandals...meow!)

Another recent note of excitement...Alpacas made it to David Letterman opening monologue joke! Whoo!

I saw on the news tonight that ranchers in Texas are raising goats....to eat. (Eep!) Goats? What would possess a person to try? My wonderful llama friends haven't been seen since winter came, and still weren't out when it was warmer...which worries me. I swear, my neighbors better not have harmed those llamas...

We're going shopping tomorrow to check out the sale on exercise equipment, lighter coats for the trip and a stop to select a bottle of wine or two ;-) (or three!) We got some handles for pilates, and now we need the resistance cords, here's hoping we find them. I bought some pilates books on the Internet to go with the random literature we already had. Both mom and I are really enjoying and sticking to it. So I think it's a good investment.

Drew Brees was tagged as franchise player for the San Diego Chargers, I won't give up hope completely (there's still a part of me that thinks tj can come back to the Packers), but it's looking awfully dim. http://www.nfl.com/teams/story/SD/8204285 It says it's a non-exclusive tag, so other teams can negotiate. Ron Wolf and the crew has been gutsy in the past aquiring who they want, and that would be a gutsy move--a big price, and a possible year on the bench for Drew. But I want the Purdue man to come to GB! After all, who else do you know that you can type your name with only your left hand on the home row? Brett Favre....Drew Brees Dumb luck? I think not.

A couple of days ago the Bills released Drew Bledsoe. Broke my heart. Some guys aren't respected. You would never see Dan Marino released so someone could take over, same with Brett or the dreaded Elway. Now, Drew isn't those three guys, but he made significant contributions to the success of his teams. He led that Pats team to the Super Bowl, not Brady. He stuck it out and started that season. Brady swept in and had the glory. Cinderella indeed. The same with Trent Dilfer. The Ravens were pretty solid on defense for a couple of seasons, Trent comes in, everything else clicks, they win the Super Bowl. Well, since the defensive was what really won them the ring, there was no need to keep Trent around. Cut him, get some nobody to play the role....ooops, now they're laughable again.

Shaky Legs

I generally feel weird tonight...and I'm not sure why. Maybe it all got to me, but a day late. At least I was strong for awhile. I was so exhausted today. It was a pain dragging myself out of bed, and the day then generally went like that...dragging myself from place to place.

I saw the Llama bumper sticker again today...every Tuesday...it makes me want to pet the car. I have to remind myself that petting may not be an acceptable public action. But if the owner came out, she would understand.

I'm amused. In some relationships, I can share everything...some know my fears, goals, deepest secrets. Others I'm bored out of my mind making small talk, or they are simply talking at me, waiting for responses to a subject revolving around nothing but themself. There are only two people who I have shared the "everything" to. Then two who know the most...and then varying levels of the rest.

I had some really good, random conversations tonight. Like I said before, I miss my friends, the way relationships were.

I'm going to suffer tomorrow for not going to bed earlier. But sometimes sleep needs to be sacrificed.

Vertigo

I hate the white walls. It's such a shock to my senses to be emersed in the starry night room and then to come back to this blandness. It has gotten better, I have touches to make it feel like me, comforts of home. I have duckies, lilies, irises and of course there's TJ. But the walls are still white. You would think with the lighter walls it would be brighter in here. But the light is, for some reason, diffused. Maybe that was what was to blame for the higher electricity bills after all *wink, wink*

Well.......i'm going to try to be productive some more tonight *sigh*

Yay for John Mayer ;-)

My Little Llama

My aches were annoying me tonight...and i needed to distract myself by talking to someone. So I im'ed Eric, aka: little llama. With schedules and random distractedness I haven't gotten to talk to Eric as much as I would like to...same with most other people.

I miss that. It was great freshman and sophomore year all of the time we spent talking to each other on the computer. Mom never liked it...she said I should venture out in the world and make other friends, and yes, I agree, I should...and I did. But these online friends are just as long lasting. I love them as much as I do the friends I have made in conventional ways.
I also wrote to Charity and Kevin. That's also weird, getting so close and then drifting so far away. That's life though.

My brain has always worked on a different wavelength than other people. Sarah Brehm was the first who had a similiar frequency. She dreamt up Donkleyland and loved Aladdin Fest and embraced the Ducks. But then the frequencies started to tune differently...I had quite a few years where I was on the edge, never quite feeling comfortable, made to feel bad because I didn't like the things everyone else did. Then I met Kerry, Jenny and that crew. I fit in again! Better yet, I felt normal...and that normalicy brought out the outlandishly crazy parts..as most of our high school knew.

But then it went further, I found Brian and Tim (not to mention Eric, Kim and Jeffy). I feel so comfortable, so at home...it's refreshing. Sometimes I want to be read like a book. I want to say something and have them know that there's something wrong and work it out of me because they know I need to talk. They give that to me, and it feels good.

I've also been blessed to develop the other friendships...my darling baby goat, Kerry. We shared the love of journalism, and we've grown with it, through it and so much closer beyond that.

I feel so bad for people who don't allow themselves that vunerablitly to let friends in...friends aren't just the people you get drunk with. They are the people who stick by you when you're down and hurt when you aren't happy...but they can't do that for you if you're pushing them away. Friends are still only human, with their own concerns and problems. After so much abuse, they may not return.

So I guess this is a thank you. To friends of all kinds, but especially Kerry, Tim, Kim, Jeff, Brian and Eric (and Curt too! we went through some hard times together and if nothing else, there was that)

Flew out of my head

Just got done with the Victoria aerobic workout. She's trying to make me hip and have rhythm. HA! I'll show her. I turn her down and put on whatever music is going through my rotation. (Right now Seether ft. Amy Lee...yeah i know i'm behind the times, but I don't really listen to radio)

I finished balancing my gb checkbook and savings...everything matches up again. I really should be slapped on the wrist for procrastinating! Gb needed since December and savings since July *gasp* The Colby checking account needs a lot of work. That's what i'll do next week.

So then I was looking at my agenda for what I need to do, a lot of stuff there, more than what's on my other to do list...and i found something I wanted to do...but as soon as I turned to do it...it flew out of my head. Dammit.

I went outside to take the garbage out...it's so nice...nice enough, in fact, to play tennis. That would have been so awesome.

Clutter

Today is a day of clutter. I see it. I feel it all around me. If I can get everything clean and do some of my "To Do" stuff it will be a good day.

So far I did some research for our San Francisco trip. I'm looking forward to Napa and Sonoma Valley--and Ghiradelli Square!!

But now I don't know what to do...maybe write some letters that I've been meaning to do for awhile.