My Little Llama

My aches were annoying me tonight...and i needed to distract myself by talking to someone. So I im'ed Eric, aka: little llama. With schedules and random distractedness I haven't gotten to talk to Eric as much as I would like to...same with most other people.

I miss that. It was great freshman and sophomore year all of the time we spent talking to each other on the computer. Mom never liked it...she said I should venture out in the world and make other friends, and yes, I agree, I should...and I did. But these online friends are just as long lasting. I love them as much as I do the friends I have made in conventional ways.
I also wrote to Charity and Kevin. That's also weird, getting so close and then drifting so far away. That's life though.

My brain has always worked on a different wavelength than other people. Sarah Brehm was the first who had a similiar frequency. She dreamt up Donkleyland and loved Aladdin Fest and embraced the Ducks. But then the frequencies started to tune differently...I had quite a few years where I was on the edge, never quite feeling comfortable, made to feel bad because I didn't like the things everyone else did. Then I met Kerry, Jenny and that crew. I fit in again! Better yet, I felt normal...and that normalicy brought out the outlandishly crazy parts..as most of our high school knew.

But then it went further, I found Brian and Tim (not to mention Eric, Kim and Jeffy). I feel so comfortable, so at home...it's refreshing. Sometimes I want to be read like a book. I want to say something and have them know that there's something wrong and work it out of me because they know I need to talk. They give that to me, and it feels good.

I've also been blessed to develop the other friendships...my darling baby goat, Kerry. We shared the love of journalism, and we've grown with it, through it and so much closer beyond that.

I feel so bad for people who don't allow themselves that vunerablitly to let friends in...friends aren't just the people you get drunk with. They are the people who stick by you when you're down and hurt when you aren't happy...but they can't do that for you if you're pushing them away. Friends are still only human, with their own concerns and problems. After so much abuse, they may not return.

So I guess this is a thank you. To friends of all kinds, but especially Kerry, Tim, Kim, Jeff, Brian and Eric (and Curt too! we went through some hard times together and if nothing else, there was that)