Letters to Live By ~ Faith

Dear Old Friend,

It’s been quite awhile since we last spoke, and I apologize sincerely for the time and space between us. I never mean for so many days to stretch on from the last time we talked. But intentions never make these fingers dial the phone or type an email.

Lots of things have changed dear Friend, but you’d be surprised of how much has stayed the same. I’ll recap the most significant topics for you, as they come to me, and ask quickly as I can so I won’t keep you too long.

I’ll start with what I’ve learned about faith and religion. When I was in eighth grade, before my confirmation, one of the Sunday school teachers sat the girls of my class down and talked to us about faith. Well, actually it was more about religion and our devotion to God.

She looked at each of us, and asked us to promise we would continue going to church, no matter where our path would lead us. I remember in that moment, knowing I’d be making a promise I wouldn’t keep. Looking back, I see how very inappropriate that session was. God isn’t about peer pressure. And I went with the group, because I knew there would be negative consequences if I didn’t.

What she should have asked us to do was never lose faith. In the darkest moments, the loneliest times, we should look deep down inside ourselves and be comforted in that we are but a small part in this great universe. And our part, whether if it’s predestined or rewritten with every flutter of a butterfly’s wings, has a place.

If we just believe that everything happens for a reason and we are never truly alone—even (especially!) when nothing can be seen or felt—everything works its way out. Everything will be okay. The universe takes care of you as long as you believe in yourself.

And my Friend, I don’t often go to church, and probably never will. But don’t fear for my soul. I feel God all around me, and celebrate the wonders with every flower, blade of grass, rain drop and other miracles all around us. I don’t need to follow the flock, repeat words like drone or forcibly give money to an Earthly institution.

I don’t think this so much is a change—but the strength to formulate, believe and hold on to what was always in me. Talk about Joy in every day moments!

What has changed is my loss of faith. I don’t trust as easily as I used to. I’ve lost faith in people.

I find myself pulling back, showing only a small percent of what I really am. Much of the world around me only sees what I let them see—a shell of what I really am. I don’t want most people to know the real me.

The voice in the back of my head is constantly reminding me that any information I divulge can and will be used against me.

I’ve lost faith that people will mostly do the right thing, the sane thing, the fair thing.

So I’ve come to numb myself, take that shot of Novocain against life.

Because I’ve learned is life isn’t fair. Everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t royally suck sometimes.

Don't worry though Friend.  It's not all a sad story.  But we only appreciate blessing more after a little hardship.

Be well until we connect again. ~ Sdo